2015: A Year Without Resolutions

I’ve warm milk on the side table. Lights are dimmed. My window is not closed despite it being chilly exterior. Additionally, I can hear my brother in law and sister seeing the Golden Globe Awards in the couch. I’m here, in my pajamas, sitting on my bed. I really have zero idea what I’m writing. I’m simply, writing away. I’ve a million things running through my head and that consider it just a lucky moment, when I occurs. That’s since I give an actual expression of myself when I’m in that instant and compose. In addition, I aspire one day to be a great writer. The reason myself say the word “great” instead of “renowned” is because I haven’t ever dreamed to be below the limelight. That isn’t my goal and was. I believe it’s mostly because I’m shy by nature and I enjoy the concept of folks learning something new from me and me learning something new from them without developing a tremendous deal about it. Anyhow, let us cut to the chase. My goal here will be to enlighten you all and myself with the easy wisdom and small things folks don’t talk about.

‘s frequently picture myself in Mocacchino from Second Cup or a coffee shop having my normal Caramel Macchiato. The reason ‘s have this outrageous coffee shop picture in my head is since it’s the ideal spot to watch individuals. I frequently find myself standing in a line at Second Cup watching people’s expressions, gestures, and gaze (the line is really enormous by the way. Consequently, the stalking). In fact, I’m not going to make use of the negative word “stalking” here; I take that back. Anyway. ‘s see individuals doing their particular thing. Folks are unlearned and reclusive. What saddens me is the reality I am an element of the culture, this secluded ambience. ‘s have my headset on and I’m listening to Coldplay. ‘s believe to myself, it’s kind of a self defense mechanism – people blow off individuals because folks do not need to be told what to do and would just like to do their own thing by being unlearned or by pretending to be unaware. My turn comes and I purchase my coffee. Little things people ask for my name or initials and as usual, me being well… “me”, I spell out my name. Little things people affirm, “Oh Han-in. Please wait on the side, you’ll be given your java soon.” Han-in. My name is pronounced “Han-een. Not Han-in.” ‘s believe messing up names is offending. Myself take it quite personally because names are like someone ‘s property and mispronouncing it could damage the ego of one. ‘s sit on a table for just two and feign indifference. No, I’m not waiting for anybody. I’m really using the other seat to place my bag on. One shouldn’t place their bag on the ground. Two need to handle it like something holy publications are valuable and because school bags normally have publications inside them. ‘s take out my laptop and eyeglasses and I write on the top, the date and in the midst of the very first line the name “Bucket List.” ‘s stare at those two words and instantly, I begin to feel a little spooky.

The wisest of two say that step one to wisdom is acknowledgement. This really is just what makes ‘s so heavy hearted. I understand that everything is really unsure in life and one day, all of us will be gone and yet, I make Pail Lists, starting of every year, driving myself to do the things I’ve “never” done, not the things I “need” to do. Now you got to be wondering, is not the purpose of a pail list to do the things you constantly “needed” to do but “never” did? Well, myself believe the actual question is, “Why is there a demand to make a pail list?” So I’m feeling special staring at both words on my laptop and I rip out the page as well as throw it in the dustbin nearest to me. ‘s take a sip of my coffee and remind myself of a question I asked one of my cancer- fighting with coworkers/friends if life was valued by her . It was most likely among the very idiotic questions I’ve asked anyone now that ‘s come to consider it. She must be laughing her butt off reading this, incidentally. She laughed at my question and answered, “I do wake up every morning being thankful to God but what makes you so certain you are going to wake up alive the following morning? Hanin, my beloved. You don’t need to get another ailment or cancer to value life. Those are only reasons. ‘s need to value life yet.” Her words hit on ‘s. The truth is, they made myself feel like really capturing every single day, every single hour and getting up from my seat. We people are not serious because we live in a world of conformity. We rely on technology, rely on others, rely on different robotic bodies to do our work for us instead of making a difference, a change and really doing something ourselves. Ourselves anticipate results that are gargantuan and need sudden change but we don’t understand that wasn’t the intention of us being in this world anyhow. Our goal was and is to be joyful and value the small things in life, without accomplishment or any applause.